JBI: The Worst
by KatyCatGleek1694
Summary: Who is JBI?
1. Episode 1

**Episode 1:**

**"Moments ago, a man named JBI shocked the world-" ABC News.**

**"The question on everyone's mind is who is JBI? And why is he?-" ENews.**

**"Apparently he is a gossip blogger, who for some reason is-" Chelsea Lately.**

**"He is what is wrong with entertainment!" **

**"I'm going to every fucking website that there is, and I'm gonna find you!" **

**"You should fucking step out in the fucking street and get hit by a fucking bus! Fuck you!" **

**"JBI, go fuck yourself! You're terrible!" **

* * *

><p>The New Directions and the Dalton Academy Warblers sat in the McKinley choir room, facing the camera.<p>

"I started high school two years ago, and there was this guy there named JBI," Rachel said. "Well, we all pretty much did."

"And as it turned out, almost every single person at our school had some grudge or horror story about the guy, well except Stoner Brett, they're actually really close friends," Finn said, his arm around his girlfriend.

"So, we decided to start collecting these stories about JBI," Kurt said.

"We still cannot believe there is somebody so terrible, well as an entertainer and a human being, who is out there, and still could be more sexist than me!" Puck yelled.

* * *

><p><strong>Dave Karofsky: <strong>

"Are you making a movie about JB fucking I?" Karofsky yelled. "Do you know where he is? Well then where the fuck is he?!" He was just about to grab the camer and punch it.

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Montgomery: <strong>

"Seriously?! If you aren't willing to become an original person, you might as well fuck yourself!" Wes shook his head and walked off.

* * *

><p><strong>Lauren Zizes: <strong>

"JBI?" she asked. "I FUCKING HATE JBI! YOU ARE JUST AS BAD AS HITLER, EXCEPT HITLER COULD KEEP A CROWD'S ATTENTION, YOU FUCKING PRICK!"

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE: <strong>

**This is based upon the youtube playlist Archie Black by the talented Brick Stone. I do not posess any ownership of it. New chaps every Friday!**


	2. Episode 2

**Episode 2:**

**Rachel Berry: **

"Well, I don't how much I could tell you about him," Rachel said. "Other than the fact that he's an asshole that blackmailed me for my panties, and that he tried raping me in girls' restrooms everywhere, including my own bathroom in my own private home, and that he's a person I really don't wanna see again. He's one of those guys that fucks women and leaves them afterwards. So after that, everyone in my high school started calling me a slut, whore, skank and pig, and that I asked for it. He's the devil. Bastard."

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>

"One time, JBI came over to my house and asked me if I could open for him at this show he was performing at in this gay bar called Faggotz with a 'z,' in Cleveland, Ohio, but he told me that my mother had to come with us since I was underage, and so was he, but then it turns out to be a pizza place, and he just went on a date with my mom, and he didn't even order me any pizza. Asshole," Blaine said.

* * *

><p><strong>Mercedes Jones: <strong>

"So I asked JBI's manager this: how do you get on JBI's web series? And he tells me, "Oh you have a be a slut and give him a good blow job." So I go over to this place that he's performing at, and he takes one good look at me, and calls me a 'fat ho' and says he won't accept a blow job from me. And I'm like, 'Oh hell to the naw! Fat black women can give a good blow job, you stupid bitch!'" Mercedes shrieked out angrily. "I'm like Aretha Franklin! I don't get no R-E-S-P-E-C-T around the state of Ohio!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel: <strong>

"He's the one responsible for all of the insulting, homophobic calls I get in my house every week! JBI, you seriously need to go and kill yourself!" Kurt snapped.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**More will be posted next week! **


	3. Episode 3

**Episode 3:**

**Kurt, Blaine and The Warblers: **

Kurt just stared at the camera, his eyes dead. "I am pretty sure that you heard what I had to say."

"However, we are not sure what to say. I mean, JBI is a dick, and Kurt has told us some pretty interesting stories of that ass following women around. In fact, he actually came here and raped my girlfriend, and now she's pregnent, but the worst thing is she's white and I'm black, which is gonna be hard to explain to the kid when we keep him or her. JBI ruined my life, and my girlfriend, because she has nightmares about creepy Jews assualting her," David growled.

"Never in a million years had I thought that JBI would write trash about the Warblers on his website! He called us a bunch of bird-singing gays. When about fourty percent of us have girlfriends. So what if the the others experiment? Why should it fucking matter?!" Jeff yelled. "Tell me where he is so I can fucking kill him! Or better yet I'll send him to a Flyers game in Philadelphia!"

"Oh, and also, tell him to go fuck himself! Because I have seen the devil, and his name is JBI," Trent said.

* * *

><p><strong>Artie Abrams: <strong>

"I was at a Comic Con event because I wanted an autograph from the Starwars cast. Cause I'm a nerd like that. But I was also playing guitar at a live event in this club in Kentucky with two other guys that same exact weekend. I'm not gonna name names. However, the owner comes to our hotel room, and tells us "Oh you boys are gonna meet Diamond." Who's Diamond? "Oh she takes care of the acts here. We call her Diamond because she's a tripple header, so have fun, boys." So after we sing accoustic, we go upstairs to our hotel room and then we hear a knock on the door. We think its her. And then there's this creepy, Jewish nerd guy standing there. We are like who the fuck are you man?! Where's Diamond?" And then up and behold comes Diamond, and she sees four of us. She goes "Sorry, boys, I only take three at a time. I'm not some kind of whore you know?" And then we turn to see her and JBI having sex on the couch!" Artie yelled.


	4. Episode 4

**Episode 4:**

**The Unholy Trinity:**

Quinn, Santana and Brittany just faced the camera, looking straight into it all wearing glares on their faces.

"JBI raped us all at the same time," they said together. "Dickhead!"

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson and Kurt Hummel: <strong>

"You all probably don't know of this, but at the beginning of this school year, he made a video called Glee's Big Gay Summer. It was to make us look downright stupid," Kurt said.

"Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that he made that video to insult us because we're stepbrothers and we live together and share the same bedroom. Just because we sleep in the same room doesnt mean we are having sex together! I guess it takes some serious intelligence to be that stupid," Finn said.

* * *

><p><strong>Thad: <strong>

"One time, JBI came up to me and threatened me, saying he would take every single one of my female friends, take them out, and fuck them in the back seat of the car. Well you know what I told him? I told him, if he takes every female friend I have out and fuck them, I'll fucking record it, post it on youtube, send him a link, block it, and send him a message saying 'Fuck you'!" Thad said.


	5. Episode 5

**Episode 5:**

**The New Directions, The Warblers, and David Karofsky:**

"We need to teach both sides the climate change debate," Karofsky said. "Both that the Earth is getting warmer due to human industrialization, and that the Jews are melting ice caps in hopes of drowning Jesus. JBI stole that from me when I used to harass him in the hallways. Except he replaced Jews with God, and Jesus with black people. How does that make any sense? I mean I think for the most part these few months I've been behaving myself."

"You've been good for the most part," Finn said.

"If anything, JBI is plagiarizing, and he can and will be arrested for that once we find out where the fuck he is," Mike said around a cough. "My dad is a lawyer."

"And he had this catch phrase which just made me wanna cut his throat," Sam said. "He would go, 'Hey, what the hell do I know, right?' And he was just . . . just hoping that it would catch on and it didn't. He would say something like, you know, would actually make sense. He would say uh . . . 'You know drunk driving kills thousands of people every year. What the hell do I know right?' Really?! THAT'S A FUCKING FACT!"

Kurt instantly put a hand on his shoulder to get him to chill out. "Easy Sam!"

"But, still, Kurt Warbler, he has every right to be pissed," Wes said.

"Wes, in case you hand't noticed, I'm no longer in the Warblers!" Kurt yelled.

"Oh yeah that's true," Wes said rolling his eyes.

* * *

><p><strong>Santana Lopez: <strong>

Santana opened her mouth and began to sing, her jaw dropping and her volume increased.

_Can I hit you later?_  
><em>'Cause it's my jam.<em>  
><em>Rollin' in my beat up,<em>  
><em>Gold Trans Am.<em>

_Sorry, I can't hear you,_  
><em>And I got plans.<em>  
><em>You won't get me naked,<em>  
><em>You had your chance.<em>

_I know I said I wouldn't,_  
><em>Talk about you publicly but,<em>  
><em>That was before I caught you,<em>  
><em>Lyin' and cheating on me, slut!<em>

_I was down for you hardcore,_  
><em>While you were out trying to score,<em>  
><em>Found out you're full of it,<em>  
><em>I'm over it, so suck my dick.<em>

_I heard our song on the radio,_  
><em>And I see your face everywhere I go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_But now my song's on the radio,_  
><em>And you see my face everywhere you go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_So I've got your message,_  
><em>Are you having fun,<em>  
><em>With your fugly girlfriend?<em>  
><em>I've moved on.<em>

_Can I hit you later?_  
><em>Gotta get to stage,<em>  
><em>In a brand new city,<em>  
><em>Gettin' laid.<em>

_I know I said I wouldn't,_  
><em>Talk about you publicly but,<em>  
><em>That was before I caught you,<em>  
><em>Lyin' and cheating on me, slut!<em>

_I was down for you hardcore,_  
><em>While you were out trying to score,<em>  
><em>Found out you're full of it,<em>  
><em>I'm over it, so suck my dick.<em>

_I heard our song on the radio,_  
><em>And I see your face everywhere I go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_But now my song's on the radio,_  
><em>And you see my face everywhere you go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_Oh! Heard our song on the radio,_  
><em>And I see your face everywhere I go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_But now my song's on the radio,_  
><em>And you see my face everywhere you go,<em>  
><em>I thought I'd call just to let you know,<em>  
><em>I've been thinking of you,<em>  
><em>Thinking of you, ooh-ooh.<em>

_(Ooh, teenie weenie)._

"JBI," Santana said. "That's the song I'm gonna play when you kill yourself by doing something stupid!"

* * *

><p><strong>Jeff: <strong>

Jeff pulled out a shotgun and fired it straight at the wall.

"You see that, JBI? That's what we're gonna do, to you!" he growled.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**The song was "Thinking of You" by Ke$ha! Ny the way, the beginning piece was from Brick Stone's 5th video for his Archie Black: The Worst playlist. You all should check out the playlist. It's awesome! **


	6. Episode 6

**Author's Note: I'm guessing that u all are confused about this story. Well here's the thing, you will all find out about JBI more and more as the story inclines. It'll all make a lot more sense. I'm gonna continue having these characters share their stories about him. His identity WILL be revealed by the 18th or 17th chapter. Just keep reading and reviewing, cause i've been enjoying writing this story.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Episode 6:<strong>

**Trent: **

"He ruined so many lives. San Kinnison-San Kinnison was a preacher when this guy started."

* * *

><p><strong>Tina Cohen-Chang: <strong>

"He makes me wanna vomit a swarm of locus."

* * *

><p><strong>Azimio Adams: <strong>

"I met the guy when I was six years old. I was on the play ground at the park, on the swings, and I saw him eating a dog! That's right! JBI is a FUCKING DOG EATER!"

* * *

><p><strong>Kurt Hummel:<strong>

"He mad me touch him in places I cannot even TELL you about when I was in the eighth grade! Yeah that's right! He's a pedophile!"

* * *

><p><strong>Brittany S. Pierce: <strong>

"Wait. . . ." Brittany said. "Is the camera on?"

* * *

><p><strong>Blaine Anderson: <strong>

"One time he grabbed my fucking ass!"

* * *

><p><strong>The New Directions and The Warblers: <strong>

"So you are all probably wondering why we haven't revealed his real name yet," Quinn said.

"That's because we have still have so many more stories to share with you about him," Finn said.

"Trust me, you WILL discover who he is. Believe me. I've been wanting to expose him for SO long," David said.

"Until then, just keep viewing. Keep it up," Santana said.

"He was also the man that outed Dave Karofsky to the school. And you are all probably why Dave isn't here. Well after being outed he had a nervous breakdown and tried to jump out a window," Kurt explained. "Yeah thanks JBI!"


	7. Episode 7

**Episode 7:**

**Sandy Ryerson (failed Glee Club director/drug dealer):**

"One time, JBI and I were hanging out behind McKinley High School. You know, just . . . smoking pot like we always do, yelling, screaming, acting like drunken retards. When all of a sudden, Principal Figgins comes in. And JBI actually starts CRYING! Like full out bawling his eyes out, and screams, 'I remember . . . . YOU TOUCHED ME!'" Sandy immediately began to laugh hysterically. "And then Figgins becomes so red-faced, that he pounces on JBI and starts beating him to the death. And then I split. That's JBI! Saying the littlest things that can get himself into a whole lotta trouble!"

* * *

><p><strong>Finn Hudson: <strong>

"My hands are now shaking because either I have a medical condition or I am trying to resist the urge to smack that fucker in the face!" Finn spat. "He's lost, he's lost, and you call him found!"

* * *

><p><strong>Wes Montgomery: <strong>

"One time, JBI came up to me and tried to interview me about my life story. And then the next thing that you know, he hands me a bottle of water. I remember blacking out. Now I don't know what that asshole put in my drink, but, the next thing you know, I'm tied down and gagged on a bed, my legs forced apart, naked completely, and he was right there raping me that stupid bitch!" Wes shouted. "Does he realize I have a girlfriend? Probably not!"

* * *

><p><strong>The New Directions and The Warblers: <strong>

"The fact that we have to wait until we reveal the bastard is killing me," Rachel said.

"Look, this is ridiculously stupid," Nick said rolling his eyes. "I'm pretty sure the folks at home are really starting to hate him even more than they already do."

"You are right. I mean c'mon the guy is already starting to receive death threats on Twitter. Who would have known the guy has Twitter?" Jeff said.

"I still remember one time he tried to be a real priest. And fun fact about that did you all know that JBI used to babysit the Pope? Or at least he thought Pope Benedict was a child because JBI was just on a lot of coke," Blaine said.

"Really?" Quinn asked.

"Well it's true. He's an idiot," Mercedes said. "A sexist, racist, pedophile idiot."

"You couldn't have said it better, Mercedes," Tina said.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note: <strong>

**I can't wait to reveal JBI's identity soon and expose him. Cause let me tell ya, when I do that, I'm throwing myself a victory party! **


End file.
